Why You Should Build Better Self-Confidence 

Self-confidence is something that most of us struggle with, and it’s stopping us from living the unlimited life we deserve. Without a healthy dose of self-confidence, you wouldn’t even try to reach for the life you were born to live. 

With self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships. You believe in your own worth and have the courage to walk away from toxic relationships. 

With self-confidence, you have the courage to try new things. And life is about learning and growing, experiencing all there is to experience, and loving life. 

Self-confidence creates resilience. And with resilience you have the ability to face things in life that don’t go to plan, to deal with them, and move on.  

True self-confidence gives you the innate ability to reflect on your actions, to be self-aware, and to work toward self-improvement.  

You will have improved decision-making through confidence in your ability to take the right path and adjust that path if needed. 

And with self-confidence comes a stronger sense of identity. It helps you to be yourself without fear of rejection (a “who gives a shit” attitude) and improves your self-esteem. 

Self-Confidence is not “They will like me” it is “I will be fine if they don’t.” 

What is Self-Confidence?

So, what is self-confidence?

It is the belief in yourself and your abilities. It’s trusting your skills and knowledge to achieve whatever you strive for. To live with the knowledge that no matter what you face you will be able to handle it. It’s knowing that failure is a possibility but trying anyway because you trust yourself to get through it and try again.

A self-confident person has a growth mindset and knows that they are enough!

Self-confidence is being self-assured but also humble about your abilities. It’s having self-respect, and earning the respect of others. A self-confident person shares their knowledge, cheers others on, and celebrates others’ achievements. 

Self-confidence is not feeling self-important or better than others. It’s not bragging about your achievements and comparing yourself to others. That is arrogance, a trait that does not earn the respect of others. 

What is the Difference Between Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem? 

As we said, self-confidence is the belief and trust in your abilities, whereas self-esteem is your inner analysis of your worth. Some of the most confident people in the world actually have low self-esteem. They know they have the ability but don’t feel worthy of the accolades that go with their achievements.

9 Steps to Better Self-Confidence 

So, do you want to build better self-confidence and achieve your unlimited potential?

Here are 9 steps proven to help you on your way.

1. Write a Success List 

The first step to building better self-confidence is to remember the things you have already achieved in your life.

It’s easy to lose confidence if you only remember your failures. But when you remember your successes your confidence is boosted.

Start with writing down the things you have succeeded in over your lifetime. Things you were good at through childhood, when you got your first job, or when you completed school. When you bought your first home or your first new car. When you learned how to play a musical instrument or to play basketball.  

Write a list of 20 things you have achieved and keep it somewhere you can see it. Then as you remember more or do something you’re proud of, add to the list. Then when you feel your confidence drop, revisit your list and remind yourself of the amazing things you’ve done and are capable of. 

2. Improve Your Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem helps create self-confidence. If you feel good about who you are you stop worrying about what others think. You love yourself and forgive yourself for past mistakes while celebrating every step you take toward the new you.

Here are some things you can do to improve your self-esteem. 

3. Change Your Thoughts – Be Mindful 

Something we struggle with as human beings is being kind to ourselves. We are a self-deprecating lot, always putting ourselves down, never believing we are good enough.

But as you improve your skills and challenge the beliefs in yourself you will go through many learning curves, and you will fail.

So be kind to yourself as you try and fail and try again, and be mindful of your self-talk. Self-deprecating talk just drags you down and does you no good. So, rephrase negative thoughts with positive affirmations.  

Change from “I’m no good” to “If I keep going, I will improve”. 

Become your own personal cheer squad!

4. Step out of Your Comfort Zone 

Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary but oh so worth it. Because as you move from your comfort zone into to fear zone, then into learning zone you will finally move into your growth zone.  

So, let’s have a look at each zone and what to expect as you go on this journey. 

Your comfort zone is where you feel secure and in control, where you know what’s going on. It’s also the zone where you stay stuck, never realising your potential.

Your fear zone is where you think about doing something with an unknown outcome. Fear and anxiety rule and your subconscious mind will try to convince you to stay in your comfort zone. Even though you want to move forward and improve your self-confidence. 

Next is the learning zone. This is where you start to conquer the fear zone. Where you learn about the new things you want to try or the things you want to change. Because as they say, knowledge is power, and knowing what to expect removes the fear (unless it’s skydiving – that’s a different type of fear). 

The growth zone is where you actually step out of your comfort zone. This is where you face your fears, take what you’ve learned and give it a go. Don’t worry about the result, it doesn’t matter how you go the first time. It’s about building the self-confidence to try. To try, fail and try again until you succeed. 

5. Create a Growth Mindset 

A fixed mindset believes that intelligence and skills are set. That change can’t happen and that learning something new is impossible. It’s also where you believe the inner voice that says you aren’t good enough and you can’t do or be whatever you want.

A growth mindset believes that intelligence and skills can be learned and improved, that change and growth are possible. It’s where you believe anything is possible. 

When you apply a growth mindset you are allowing yourself to learn and improve without fear of failure or judgement. You accept and encourage yourself through challenges and learnings, giving yourself the confidence to grow. 

For a more in depth look into growth mindset, check out this book from world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck.

6. Keep Your Promises to Yourself 

Our core values dictate that we keep promises to others so that they will trust and believe in us. We keep promises because we don’t want to let others down, because we respect them. So why wouldn’t you want to keep your promises to yourself? Why wouldn’t you want to trust and believe in yourself? You don’t want to let yourself down any more than you want to let others down. You don’t want to disrespect yourself. 

When you keep promises to yourself you are building trust and confidence in yourself. You respect yourself enough to do what you said.  

And as you continue to keep promises to yourself, your trust and self-confidence grow, changing your whole outlook on life. It’s powerfully satisfying to trust yourself and have the confidence to take on whatever is thrown at you in life.  

So, start small; get out of bed and exercise because you promised yourself you would. Don’t have that piece of chocolate or that glass of wine because you told yourself yesterday that you wouldn’t. Then celebrate the wins and acknowledge that you have the power to make a difference in your life. 

7. Embrace Failure – Practice Makes Perfect 

No-one ever became great at something by doing it once. It takes practice to perfect anything and failure is inevitable. So, embrace the failures, treat them as lessons and keep trying. If what you want to achieve is really worth it, you have to embrace the learning process and all that goes with it.

And remember, failure and success go hand in hand. 

8. Set SMART Goals  

Setting goals and completing them is an important step to building self-confidence. And SMART goals give you clarity and focus, improving the chances of achieving success. 

SMART stands for: 

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound

As an example, if you want to learn how to play the guitar your SMART goals would look something like this: 

Specific – What type of guitar do I want to learn? Acoustic, Bass, etc. 

Measurable – Do I want to learn the basic chords, or do I want to learn to play my favourite song? 

Achievable – What do I need to do and how can I make this happen? 

Relevant – Why do I want to learn the guitar and is it worth my time and effort?  

Time Bound – What is my timeframe for playing my favourite song? 

Once you’ve answered all of these questions you are on your way to success. You have made a plan to achieve what you know you want. And you will be more likely to stick to it. 

S.M.A.R.T. Goals Made Simple is a more in-depth look at SMART goals and how to make them work for you.

9. Ask for Help 

The final step to build better self-confidence is to ask for help.

No matter how good you are there will always be someone who is better. So, instead of being jealous, appreciate their skills, and ask them for help. 

The best way to achieve something is to learn from someone who has already done the work and succeeded. And any self-confident person would be more than happy to help you achieve your goal. They have already gone through their self-confidence journey and aren’t threatened by you or anyone else.

Final Words on Why You Should Build Better Self-Confidence 

When you take the steps to build better self-confidence, you create your reality. For creating your own reality not only takes the desire to change but also the confidence in your ability, and the courage to act.  

So, if you want to create your reality and live an unlimited life, use these 9 steps and watch your life change for the better. 

Self-Confidence is a Superpower – the moment you start believing in yourself magic happens!