Is Finding Happiness a Myth or a Reality?

Finding happiness is indeed a reality, not a myth. While the term happiness might be subjective and experienced differently by each of us, the first step to unlocking genuine and lasting happiness lies in understanding what true happiness is.  

In our world, it has become all too common to depend on external factors to find happiness. We wait for specific circumstances to fall into place before allowing ourselves to be happy, and we place the responsibility for our happiness on material possessions, achievements, or the approval of others.

Take a look at the following and ask yourself if it rings a bell: 

 I’ll be happy when: 

• I have my dream job  
• I find a loving relationship  
• I have more money  
• My kids behave themselves  
• I go on a holiday  
• I get a new car  
• I pay off the mortgage  

I’m not suggesting that any of these events won’t bring you feelings of happiness, excitement, or even ecstasy – they certainly will, at least for a short while.   

But the holiday will come to an end, the new car smell will fade, and the kids won’t always behave 24/7 (they’re kids after all!). These moments of joy and excitement are transient, and sooner or later, you’ll find yourself falling back to your earlier emotional state. It becomes a cycle of eagerly waiting for the next event to bring happiness once again.

Distinguishing between instant gratification and genuine inner happiness is essential. True inner happiness extends beyond momentary satisfaction and isn’t a constant state.  While external circumstances can influence your happiness to some degree, research suggests that a substantial portion of your happiness is within your control, shaped by your thoughts, actions, and perspectives. 

You deserve lasting happiness irrespective of your current circumstances or future prospects. Your worthiness of happiness extends beyond economic or social status. It is a fundamental human right and a state that comes from within, independent of external validations or achievements. 

What is True Happiness?

Happiness is a subjective experience that can differ from person to person. However, experts, including researchers, neuroscientists, psychologists, and spiritual leaders like Buddhist monks, all agree that happiness originates from within. True happiness is the profound sense of inner peace, contentment, and a deep appreciation for life as it unfolds.

This state of being emerges from living a purposeful, and mindful existence, embracing compassion and empathy for self and others. Genuine happiness is knowing that regardless of external circumstances, your life is perfectly aligned with your authentic self. This inner happiness goes beyond temporary moments of pleasure and becomes a consistent, meaningful state of being.

In the book ‘The Art of Happiness’ the Dalai Lama explains that happiness is the purpose of life, and that by training our minds and hearts we can all achieve happiness.    

And over 2000 years ago Aristotle said “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence”     

YOU have the ability to take control of your life and find your own happiness. YOU have it within you to change your mindset and live with inner peace and contentment.    

But before we look into the art of finding happiness, let’s have a look at the benefits of happiness and why it is so important.  

What Are The Benefits of Finding Happiness?

Happiness not only contributes to a positive emotional state and improves your overall quality of life; it also offers a multitude of health benefits, both physical and mental. Here are just a few of the many health benefits of living in a state of happiness.

Improves Heart Health

Scientific research has shown a clear connection between happiness and improved heart health. Happy people tend to have a higher level of HDL (good) cholesterol and lower levels of cortisol (a stress hormone linked to heart disease). 

Happy people also tend to sleep better, eat better and exercise more, potentially decreasing the risk of heart disease. 

Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Serotonin is often referred to as one of the 4 “Happy Chemicals” and regulates mood balance and emotional well-being. Low Serotonin levels have been linked to anxiety, stress, and even depression.  

When we experience happiness and positive emotions, the brain releases more serotonin, increasing the levels in the body. This surge of serotonin helps to reduce stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm and well-being. 

Creates a Stronger Immune System

Extensive research and numerous studies have explored the impact of happiness on the immune system, revealing intriguing findings. While it’s not completely understood how, these studies have shown that happy people were less likely to succumb to illness than those who were unhappy.

Moreover, when happy people fall ill, they tend to experience less severe symptoms and recover quicker compared to less happy folk.  This could be attributed to the positive impact of happiness on overall well-being, which may help the body recover more efficiently.

Finding Happiness

Finding happiness lies within your own grasp. It involves releasing the weight of past beliefs and negative habits, and embracing the journey of self-care and personal growth. Through self-reflection, understanding your values and passions, and making choices that align with them. 

So, let’s take a look at what you can do to find your true happiness. 

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a powerful catalyst for finding happiness. Even during challenging times or difficult days, shifting your focus towards the positive aspects can profoundly impact your mood and overall outlook on life. 

As the saying goes “When the world gives you lemons, make lemonade”.   

By nurturing a habit of gratitude, you train your mind to recognise and cherish the good things in your life, no matter how big or small. This shift in perspective creates a positive cycle, where expressing gratitude leads to greater awareness of other blessings to be grateful for. Through this continuous practice of gratitude, you unlock the potential to elevate your overall happiness.

Exercise

We all know that exercise is good for your physical health, but did you know that exercise also improves your mood? 

If you’re like me, you struggle to go to the gym, to the pool, to go for a run, or even just a walk. But once it’s done you feel so much better, happy you made the effort.

That’s because during exercise, the brain releases “Happy Chemicals”. These chemicals contribute to feelings of euphoria, reduce stress, and an overall sense of happiness and contentment. And they linger in the body long after your exercise regime has ended.

The three most well-known chemicals are: 

Endorphins – Endorphins are the hormones most commonly associated with exercise. They reduce pain and increase euphoria.  

Serotonin – We mentioned earlier that Serotonin is a mood booster and one way to increase Serotonin levels is to exercise 

Dopamine – Dopamine is the happy chemical released when you feel a sense of accomplishment. When you realise you did it. You got up and did something for yourself. 

So, no matter how hard it is to get up and go, remember the incredible impact it will have on your mood and happiness. Embrace the opportunity to boost your “Happy Chemicals” and experience the lasting benefits of a healthier body and mind. 

Practice Mindfulness

It is believed there is a direct correlation between mindfulness and happiness. and understanding the essence of “Mindfulness” sheds light on this belief.   

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and observing your thoughts, emotions, and experiences with non-judgemental awareness. Through this practice, you cultivate a heightened sense of consciousness and gain greater control over your reactions and responses to the external world. 

As you continue your mindfulness practice, it becomes more natural to observe yourself in everyday moments. You are in the present choosing your reaction and your emotions, flipping from sad, angry, or frustrated, to happy, content, and peaceful. This intentional choice to be present and in control of your emotions creates a positive impact on your mental and emotional state, leading to a more fulfilling and contented life.

Surround Yourself with Friends and Loved Ones

One surefire way to finding happiness is to surround yourself with those who make you happy. Not because you need them to do something to make you happy, but because the very presence of them in your life makes you happy.  

When you look forward to moments with family and friends with a sense of excitement and happiness, you’re in the right place. You feel the smile on your face and a warmth in your heart just thinking about what’s coming (that’s the “Happy Chemical” release).   

But if the thought of coming face to face with someone who makes you sad, angry or frustrated, then you need to walk (or run) in the opposite direction. It’s in your best interest to distance yourself from the negative, destructive people who drain the happiness from your soul.    

We all have family, friends, and acquaintances who fit into either one of these categories. Therefore, it’s up to you to set your boundaries, make the selfish, self-loving decision to care for yourself and prioritise your own happiness. It’s an act of self-care and self-respect, letting go of any guilt you might feel as a result of your choices.  

Set Meaningful Goals

Goals play a pivotal role in providing you with a sense of purpose and direction in life. They give you something to look forward to and to strive for, infusing your journey with meaning and motivation. When you accomplish a goal it gives you a profound feeling of pleasure, gratitude, and sometimes even euphoria. It validates your efforts and hard work, fostering a positive mindset and a feeling of achievement.

Setting meaningful goals, whether they are part of a larger plan or individual tasks, is essential for a fulfilling life. Goals keep you engaged, focused, and driven, preventing you from merely existing without purpose or passion.

However, it’s vital to set goals that align with your values and desires, something that genuinely excites you. Stretching beyond your comfort zone is essential for personal growth and a better sense of accomplishment. But, at the same time, avoid setting unrealistic goals that may set you up for failure and frustration.

Striking a balance between challenge and achievability allows you to harness the power of goals effectively. Embrace the journey of setting and achieving meaningful goals, as it is in this pursuit that we find purpose, growth, and fulfillment.

Do Something for Others

It is scientifically proven that when you engage in acts of kindness or do something for others it makes you happy. Neuroscientific research has shown that when you engage in acts of generosity or altruism, your brain’s pleasure and rewards centres are activated. This activation leads to the release of your “feel-good” chemicals, dopamine and endorphins.  

Helping a stranger in need, or performing a random act of kindness are really simple ways to make a difference in someone’s day. And because your brain is hard-wired for love and compassion, it makes you feel good too.   

Volunteering is a more preplanned way to help others and has a lasting effect on your own happiness. It gives you purpose, a sense of belonging, and makes you feel needed.    

Not only is helping others rewarding, you can also reflect on your own life, grateful for where you are and what you have.  

As the saying goes:  

“It’s better to give than to receive”   

Or this one: 

“Treat others as you would like to be treated”  

Give Yourself Some Love

Self-love is a foundational pillar for cultivating happiness. It involves treating yourself with kindness, care and compassion while prioritising your mental and physical health. 

Often we can be our own harshest critics and our own worst enemies, neglecting our own needs over everyone and everything else. However, neglecting our needs can lead to burnout, unhappiness, and resentment towards others.

Self-love begins with accepting yourself for who you are and realising that you are enough just as you are. Forgive yourself as you would forgive others, and speak to yourself with love. 

Engaging in self-care activities is also a powerful way to express self-love. Run a relaxing bubble bath, take a yoga class, or go for a walk. Read a book, buy yourself some flowers, or get your nails done.

Because when you nurture the relationship with yourself you have more energy to put into your other relationships with family, partners, and friends. 

Finding Happiness is Possible

Don’t compare or measure your happiness with someone else’s. Every person is unique, everyone’s lives are different, and everyone’s version of happiness is also different. Be true to yourself, honour yourself, and find your version of happiness. 

While you can’t control what happens around you, you have the power to control how you react to life. You can choose happiness.  

We only have so much time on Earth, and we weren’t born to live in sadness. So, make every second count and enjoy your life your way. Embrace every moment and savour the experiences that bring you joy. Choose to live in the present and make the most of each day. Happiness comes from cherishing the journey, not the destination.